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Thread: Website evaluation....Please check out ;)

  1. #16

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    ok, I've added a picture of a bus (not actual bus, but similar.

  2. #17

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    WoW....First off your website address is http://getonthebusandpartywithus.com...????? Not charlestonspartybus.com....?????

    Second...Loose the flash like everybody is telling you

    Third....WHY WOULD YOU PUT I PIC OF A BUS THAT IS NOT YOURS???? I love fly-by-night companies that put pics of $100K party buses on there website and pull up in some POS worth $1K

    Charleston....good luck your going to need it

    Quote Originally Posted by charlestonspartybus View Post
    ok, I've added a picture of a bus (not actual bus, but similar.

  3. #18
    Senior Member Cedar Mill Limousine's Avatar
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    ChiTown: I would clarify your concert rules better. Are they allowed to come back to the bus early? I just saw the "tailgating question" at the end. Personally, I would put them next to each other and maybe clarify.
    Rich Rottier
    219.808.0976 | richrottier@gmail.com

  4. #19
    Senior Member Cedar Mill Limousine's Avatar
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    ChiTown: I am confused, the "About Us" page rants on about other companies charging for empty beer cans, but your FAQ says you will charge for more than 6 empties on the floor.
    Rich Rottier
    219.808.0976 | richrottier@gmail.com

  5. #20

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    Confused about what????

    ABOUT US PAGE
    I hated getting "Fined hundreds of dollars of leaving an empty beer can on the floor"

    FROM OUR FAQS PAGE
    "If we have to sweep up 6 or more empty cups/cans/trash off the floor, pick-up half eaten food and clean-up behind the seats that's a extensive clean-up.



    Quote Originally Posted by Cedar Mill Limousine View Post
    ChiTown: I am confused, the "About Us" page rants on about other companies charging for empty beer cans, but your FAQ says you will charge for more than 6 empties on the floor.

  6. #21

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    good point

    Quote Originally Posted by cedar mill limousine View Post
    chitown: I would clarify your concert rules better. Are they allowed to come back to the bus early? I just saw the "tailgating question" at the end. Personally, i would put them next to each other and maybe clarify.

  7. #22
    Senior Member cvclubs's Avatar
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    Chi Town I would really suggest rewriting the FAQ section. As a customer the wording would be a big turn off for me.
    Nick Groat
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Nick@BellaVitaLimos.com
    Bella Vita Limousines

  8. #23
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    ChiTown: In your intro video, it states "Brand New Buses." That is false since your buses are not brand new. They may be new conversions, but the chassis on each bus is not. Also, let the visitor start the video. If someone is at work and is searching for a party bus, the fact that they are not concentrating on work is going to be announced by a loud video playing. People will quickly close the window and move on to the next company to avoid creating too much of a scene in the office.

    "Loud Ass Sound System w/ Bass" is a turn off to me in the wording. I would think something like "Kicking" or "Pumping" would accomplish more without having to resort to a low class term like "Loud Ass."

    A beer bong on a bus....hmmm....How do you provide a clean and sanitized beer bong? Sounds like a potential liability as it could spread some diseases such as mononucleosis if things aren't cleaned properly and the beer bong is shared by many people (and mouths). Same with the ShotStick.

    What is the 15% driver fee? Is this an automatic gratuity? If this is paid straight to the driver and there is no option of reducing this, you may want to consult a lawyer about this as you may be responsible for paying worker's comp, unemployment, payroll taxes, etc. on this since it is mandatory.

    Minus the $100 deposit paid via Paypal, is there no other way to pay except for cash? It says the balance must be paid, in cash, on the day of the trip. What if I want to pay via AMEX or Visa?

    In the FAQ about another party bus company providing liquor, the "answer" needs to be revised. Instead of using IL, use Illinois. I also wouldn't necessarily point a finger and say that the other company probably isn't properly insured because you don't know who they called. Just make a comment about how you have the proper insurance. And really, is that a question in which insurance even needs to be addressed? Maybe have another FAQ about how your prices may be a little higher but that is because you have proper insurance and licensing.

    Why must everyone go into the concert? I hope that you are not charging for the time the bus is required to be empty so that you can clean it. I don't understand why, if people stay behind, that you cannot make some adjustments to tidy up the bus. If your patrons paid for that time to hire the bus, then they should have access and be able to use the bus. Also, it makes it sound like you are going to use the bus for another small trip in there while they are in the concert since everyone must get off.

    About smoking in the party bus, your answer to the FAQ is "I'm sorry but we our a non-smoking Party Bus." Please fix this response.

    Wait! You don't have TVs on your Party Bus? What if I wanted to bring my Pink Floyd "The Wall" DVD, or an Eagles DVD? And I really don't think having a TV on the bus would necessitate a price increase of $125 to $200+.

    "If I book for 6 hours and then change it to 4 hours the day of...is that ok?" Answer: "No... We need to know of any changes within 72 hrs of trip. We book our driver in advance and schedule them for the hours originally booked...if you book 6 hrs and then tell the driver you only want 4 hrs because you made other plans...you still pay 6 hrs!" With you wording, as it is right now, I can change my reservation 30 minutes before the pick-up from 6 hours to 4 hours because it is within 72 hours of the trip. It is worded in such a way that the only way you can change a reservation is within 72 hours of the start time of the trip.

    Why do you "LoL" as a response to the question of whether or not the drivers wear a suit/tux? What is so funny about that?

    "This there washrooms on the buses?" I think you know what needs to be fixed there. And in the response, "We found them to be more trouble then worth having..." "then" needs to be changed to "than." Then is used for time. Than is used for comparison. This is followed by "I'm sure you don't want to use one after someone gets sick in it or pay a clean up fee?" Is this a statement or a question?

    It is a cigarette butt and not a cigarette "bud."

    "This is a Party Bus and should be fun time...not a drunken bad UFC match?" 'Should be fun time' is...well...it reminds me of someone who doesn't fully understand the use of articles in the English language. You are missing an 'a' in that phrase.

    "At the end of the trip a simple 2 min clean up from you and your group and treat our bus like your home...you won't have a problem." needs two things. It needs some more punctuation and needs to be a complete sentence. At this point, this is about the third time that I have wondered if English is your first language.

    "Is my deposit refundable?" Start your response with the answer, then give your reasoning. You have it flipped the other way.

    "Can I cancel my trip the day of?" Well, I have to be honest with you here. Since they paid the $100 deposit via Paypal and the remainder is due in cash at the start of the trip, good luck collecting should they cancel.

    If there are overtime charges, how are you going to charge their credit card if they paid via Paypal? Maybe I don't understand how Paypal works since I have only used it to pay for some things I get off eBay, but I didn't think the merchant actually received any of my credit/debit card information.

    "What happens if we our running late and just stay in the club?" There is a difference between 'our' and 'are' and this is something that is consistently wrong through your FAQ page.

    "Do you charge a service fee?" That $3.30 fee that you are charging to cover your credit card processing is probably one of the dumbest charges I have seen. Using your posted rates and minimums, you are charging at least $575 for a trip (4 hours at $125 per hour plus 15% driver fee). Are you seriously going to charge $3 to cover credit card processing fees? To me, credit card processing fees are a cost of doing business. Oh, and if you even got a superior merchant rate of only 1%, which you aren't even going to get close to, you are going to end of paying $5.75+ on your $575+ trip. Also, you need to review your contract with your merchant processor as this charge for accepting credit cards may be a violation of your contract.

    "Do you require us to sign a contract?" The only refund that could be given is the $100 deposit since I haven't paid you the remainder yet! That is due in cash at the time of service.

    It says that the start time of the trip is when the bus arrives at the pick-up location. I don't agree with that at all. If the drive decides to show up 90 minutes early, I'm not paying for that time, yet in the FAQ, it makes it sound like I am responsible for that time. The time should start when the scheduled start time is reached (unless the bus is late) or the bus leaves the pick-up location, whichever is first. If the trip is set to start at 6:00PM, the bus should arrive at 5:45, but don't think that the party is going to pay for that 15 minutes. If they get on the bus at 5:53, then the time starts at 5:53. If they get on the bus at 6:27, then the time starts at 6:00. Understand? Okay, good!

    As far as the part about the lights going out during the trip, I understand that you are a transportation service, but if the lights go out or there are mechanical or electrical malfunctions, I'm not going to be paying full price as I did not receive what was purchased. That section probably needs to be reworked.

    "Can we have adult entertainers on the bus?" Answer: "Yes...as long as there are good looking! Please tell us if your planning to have adult entertain on our buses before you book." This is now the fifth time I have wondered about your English. 'As long as there are good looking...' what? What is good looking? Or is it 'they are good looking?' And what is 'adult entertain?' Is it supposed to be 'adult entertainers' or 'adult entertainment?' Also, you need to be careful as I believe there have been some lawsuits where party bus and limo companies have been a defendent to cases where illicit activities were able to be seen by minors through the windows that didn't have curtains or were not tinted dark enough. I hope that you have curtains as you don't want to pull up next to the minivan with a mom or dad that is on edge and have the kids see some activities happening that they are too young to comprehend.

    Everyone hates answering the phone with 5 people screaming in the background and music distorting what the person on the other end is saying, but isn't there a better way to write that? Just reading that one FAQ alone makes me want to move on to the next company.

    Overall, you really need to read through the FAQ page because there are a lot of cases of poor punctuation (you use '...' way too much and it isn't needed when a period or a comma will work), misspellings, wrong words being used, and poor sentence structure.

    It continues on into the 'About us' page as well. "DRINK, DANCE & PARTY We Our A 100% Real Party Bus!" Do you know the difference between 'our' and 'are?' "Alot of other companies just grab pictures of party buses off of google and say thats its there's." 'Alot' isn't even a word!!!!! It is 'A lot.' And Google is a proper name and needs to be capitalized. "Thats its there's" should be "that it is theirs." Big, BIG difference between its (possession) and it's (it is) and there (place), their (possession), and they're (they are). And "enuff" should be "enough." And people wonder why our society is falling rapidly.

    Your site needs A LOT of work. My suggestion is to start by hiring a student at a local college or university to proofread your website copy. English is apparently not a strong weapon in your arsenal. You might be able to relate to your clientele, but first you have to get them to consider you and with the way this is written, you are likely losing a lot of business.
    Tim Wiegman, Jr.
    Boulevard Limousine
    Travel Confidently!
    Serving Kansas City, Lawrence, Topeka
    http://www.BoulevardLimoKC.com - Kansas City Limos
    KC Airport Car Service

  9. #24

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    I actually like BLVD's website...

  10. #25
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    I tend to agree with many of Timís observations and agree with Nick who, despite being heavily immersed in the whole party atmosphere and nightlife thing, mentions that some customers could well be put off by some of the wording. In general, most people donít like being accused or warned against something they havenít done, or wouldnít do. But still in all, I get a feel for what you're doing and saying.

    As for the wording itself, Iím guessing that you had in mind a fairly informal and more conversant tone in your FAQ. There isnít anything wrong with that, but I think you need to use care in deciding whatís informal in helping your customers make an informed decision, and what should be saved for the terms of a contract. Since youíve told them they are going to need a signed contract, you should keep all the downer info in one place.

    Itís ultimately up to you of course, but I might suggest shortening the FAQ a little, and perhaps limit it to more general questions. I would stay clear of offering too many different scenarios because that can cause people to go into ďnegotiation modeĒ where they start looking for compromises and what they can get away with. Instead, leave yourself an out by referring additional questions to you by phone or email. That makes you appear accessible, available, and willing to accommodate them.

    Good job so far... keep at it!
    Karl Jones

  11. #26

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    Thanks,

    The party atmosphere/informal is my "thing"...and it works very "very" well for us. I HAVE ALOT of middle/high end Party Bus companies in Chicago..so my nitch is the school bus style.

    I know we don't have a pro design/fancy/clean website....But that's what works for us. I'm booked every weekend with normal clean-cut clients

    Yes, I know I have a few things to fix on the website



    Quote Originally Posted by Karl View Post
    I tend to agree with many of Tim’s observations and agree with Nick who, despite being heavily immersed in the whole party atmosphere and nightlife thing, mentions that some customers could well be put off by some of the wording. In general, most people don’t like being accused or warned against something they haven’t done, or wouldn’t do. But still in all, I get a feel for what you're doing and saying.

    As for the wording itself, I’m guessing that you had in mind a fairly informal and more conversant tone in your FAQ. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but I think you need to use care in deciding what’s informal in helping your customers make an informed decision, and what should be saved for the terms of a contract. Since you’ve told them they are going to need a signed contract, you should keep all the downer info in one place.

    It’s ultimately up to you of course, but I might suggest shortening the FAQ a little, and perhaps limit it to more general questions. I would stay clear of offering too many different scenarios because that can cause people to go into “negotiation mode” where they start looking for compromises and what they can get away with. Instead, leave yourself an out by referring additional questions to you by phone or email. That makes you appear accessible, available, and willing to accommodate them.

    Good job so far... keep at it!

  12. #27
    Senior Member cvclubs's Avatar
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    Chi: I understand its easy to get offended when someone posts such a long response to what you need to.change or what they think you have done wrong but I want to tell you in advance you should not be. Tim just gave you an extremely valuable gift of which I would be very thankful for. His suggestions are all very helpful and you should take each one into consideration.

    Karl: what I enjoy about the nightlife industry here is that clubs are 100 million dollar ,high class , strict dress code high class image establishments. As operators our goal is to provide an elegant and classy experience with all our vehicles all the time. If you look on any operators webpage here in vegas you would NEVER find the word ass, talk about drunken ufc fights or any low class nonsense. Now of couese we get clients that are not our intended market but that's fine. There are lots of types of people in the world and I have no problem serving them as well if they decide to pay for our vehicle. Regardless of what types of people we are serving at the time we never forget we are a LUXURY service and I will always keep that image. Why should a party bus site have lower standards? If you had the choice between having the image of a Rolls Royce or a beat up trashmobile for the same price which would you choose? Everyone wants the high life. why not portray yourself as a world class operator and appeal to every type of person instead of just the low class? As a customer, your site (as pompous as it sounds) would make me feel like I am above your service and if I was to rent it I would feel like I had dropped down a few social ranks... My overall point I guess is everyone likes going up nobody likes going down in life. Give the image they gain something out of your service and everyone will want to book through you.
    Nick Groat
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Nick@BellaVitaLimos.com
    Bella Vita Limousines

  13. #28
    Senior Member Cedar Mill Limousine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cvclubs View Post
    As a customer, your site (as pompous as it sounds) would make me feel like I am above your service and if I was to rent it I would feel like I had dropped down a few social ranks... My overall point I guess is everyone likes going up nobody likes going down in life. Give the image they gain something out of your service and everyone will want to book through you.
    I believe there is becoming a greater split among those that don't give a rip and those that actually care how they are seen in public. There are a lot of people that like that laid back who cares attitude.



    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownPartyBus View Post
    Confused about what????

    ABOUT US PAGE
    I hated getting "Fined hundreds of dollars of leaving an empty beer can on the floor"

    FROM OUR FAQS PAGE
    "If we have to sweep up 6 or more empty cups/cans/trash off the floor, pick-up half eaten food and clean-up behind the seats that's a extensive clean-up.
    Sorry, I thought there was an "or" between those: meaning that if there was 6 cans on the floor you would charge them. I guess if you add food and other stuff I can see your point.

    Sidenote: In 4 years we have never charged an "excessive clean up fee", kind of feel it comes with the territory (we do not have any buses, just limousines - that could be the difference even though we have had some big messes). Damage is another story. But that is just my opinion.
    Rich Rottier
    219.808.0976 | richrottier@gmail.com

  14. #29

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    Chi,

    While the website is definitely too random for my tastes, I can see how the voice and tone might work for the type of informal branding you might be going for. I agree with many of the comments above.

    There are some technical things, you can and should do that wont require you to hire a web designer or developer

    -For the amount of text on the FAQ page, the white and orange text on the black background discourages easy reading.
    -There is no reason to open up a new page to a separate site for your booking/contact form. It creates a disconnected experience for your visitors. If you cant build a native contact form on your godaddy form(recommended). Simply create a new contact page and place the tfa contact form you are using in an iframe. This html code below would work for you:
    <iframe src="http://www.tfaforms.com/159814" width="790px" height ="900px" scrolling="no" frameborder="0"></iframe>

    -Do you have any analytics on the site? i see a web-stats tracking pixel but I am not familiar with it. Make sure you are using a tool that reports back to you what sites are referring traffic to you and what keywords are leading people to your site. If you cant answer these questions, you wont know if you are loosing more opportunities to target potential customers


    I dont know why, but I do like the youtube video, good energy...
    All-in-one limo software & website solutions www.veloxplatform.com

  15. #30
    Senior Member Wade Randolph's Avatar
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    Rich I am in 100% agreement with you on this. I actually have people that call and say they don't care about the condition of the vehicle as long as it is cheap. I am totally blown away that usually for a few more dollars per hour they can get first class instead of trash.

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