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Thread: Thought Provoking

  1. #16
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Default Louisiana Ghost Story

    Warning; Not For The Faint of Heart

    This happened about 6 months ago on Louisiana Hwy 57, just outside of Dulac, a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana , and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.

    An Ohio businessman, Saul Rubins, abandoned his disabled vehicle on the side of the road, and attempted to hitchhike.. The night was pitch dark in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It wasraining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his
    face.

    Suddenly, through the sheets of rain, he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.. Desperately needing a ride, Saul jumped in the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize that there was
    no one behind the wheel and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.

    Again the car crept silently forward and Saul was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running..
    He saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the bayou and he would then drown!

    But just before the curve, a shadowy hand appeared at the driver's window, reached in and turned the steering wheel , guiding the car safely around the bend.
    Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and Saul was alone again.

    Paralyzed with fear, Saul watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve.

    Finally, scared nearly to death, Saul had all he could take, jumped out of the car, and ran to town.
    Wet and in shock, he went into Schmoopy's.
    Voice quavering, he ordered two cups of coffee, black, and then told everybody about his supernatural experience.

    The room became silent and everybody got goose bumps when they realized Saul was telling the truth (and not just some drunk).

    About 30 minutes later two Cajuns, dripping wet, walked into Schmoopy's and one says to the other,



    "Look, Boudreaux, ders dat idiot what rode in our car when we wuz pushin' it in the rain!!!"
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  2. #17
    Senior Member Wade Randolph's Avatar
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    Gunny I can remember long ago when I used to drive a drunk client was directing me to pickup his girlfriend and after a couple hours I see a sign that read Dulac. Pitch dark and nothing but the end of the road in Louisiana.

  3. #18
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Default The Obese American

    In a recent Pentagon report 23% of Americans between the ages of 17 & 24 are too fat & don't qualify for enlistment into the US Military.


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  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunny View Post
    In a recent Pentagon report 23% of Americans between the ages of 17 & 24 are too fat & don't qualify for enlistment into the US Military.
    I don't qualify for enlistement due to a physical diability that doesn't affect me anymore. I tried enlisting in the USMC.
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  5. #20
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLVD Limo View Post
    I don't qualify for enlistement due to a physical diability that doesn't affect me anymore. I tried enlisting in the USMC.
    That just makes you part of the majority. I use to DQ 4 out of 5 prospects.
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  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunny View Post
    That just makes you part of the majority. I use to DQ 4 out of 5 prospects.
    Exactly why I don't qualify for any sort of government assistance...white, male, above average intelligence (IQ 140ish), heterosexual, no special talents, not a star athletic...now part of the 80% of DQ'ed USMC prospects. I sure could have used a scholarship or two when I was in college.
    Tim Wiegman, Jr.
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  7. #22
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLVD Limo View Post
    Exactly why I don't qualify for any sort of government assistance...white, male, above average intelligence (IQ 140ish), heterosexual, no special talents, not a star athletic...now part of the 80% of DQ'ed USMC prospects. I sure could have used a scholarship or two when I was in college.

    If you think that is frustrating, try being a USMC Recruiter with a monthly quota monster & your career on the line. Hit the streets and find someone at weight, no health issues/history, clean record, no illegal drug use, HS Diploma (GED's don't count), meets minimum strength requirements and has scored at least a 800 on the SAT (my gauge for their ability to meet minimum AFQT score) and most importantly, the guts to leave mommy & daddy.
    Last edited by gunny; November 6th, 2009 at 08:30 AM.
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  8. #23
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Talking

    Yummy
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  9. #24
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    And I thought the onions were supposed to ward off evil spirits!
    The Land Yacht Company of New Hampshire, LLC
    -Phil Smith; Chief Factotum, Raconteur, and Gadabout

  10. #25
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Default Dog for Sale

    A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
    'Talking Dog For Sale '
    He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

    The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting
    there.

    'You talk?' he asks.

    'Yep,' the Lab replies.

    After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

    The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

    'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
    listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got
    married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

    'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

    'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'


    'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
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  11. #26
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    Default Talking dog

    Good one Marine, made my day

    Dick Hall (Army)

  12. #27
    Senior Member DenverLimo's Avatar
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    Bwahahahahahahahahahhahaa

    Quote Originally Posted by gunny View Post
    warning; not for the faint of heart

    this happened about 6 months ago on louisiana hwy 57, just outside of dulac, a little town in the bayou country of louisiana , and while it sounds like an alfred hitchcock tale, it's real.

    An ohio businessman, saul rubins, abandoned his disabled vehicle on the side of the road, and attempted to hitchhike.. The night was pitch dark in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It wasraining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his
    face.

    Suddenly, through the sheets of rain, he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.. Desperately needing a ride, saul jumped in the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize that there was
    no one behind the wheel and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.

    Again the car crept silently forward and saul was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running..
    He saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the bayou and he would then drown!

    But just before the curve, a shadowy hand appeared at the driver's window, reached in and turned the steering wheel , guiding the car safely around the bend.
    Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and saul was alone again.

    Paralyzed with fear, saul watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve.

    Finally, scared nearly to death, saul had all he could take, jumped out of the car, and ran to town.
    Wet and in shock, he went into schmoopy's.
    Voice quavering, he ordered two cups of coffee, black, and then told everybody about his supernatural experience.

    The room became silent and everybody got goose bumps when they realized saul was telling the truth (and not just some drunk).

    About 30 minutes later two cajuns, dripping wet, walked into schmoopy's and one says to the other,



    "look, boudreaux, ders dat idiot what rode in our car when we wuz pushin' it in the rain!!!"
    "Girls might be able to fake orgasams, but men can fake whole relationships"

    www.limoservicedenver.com

  13. #28
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Should of got a limo
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  14. #29

    Default

    Guy runs into a bar and yells to the bartender " Give me 3 shots of Jack quick". The bartender pours the shots and watchs the guy pound them down and asks " what the trouble fella". The guy says " I just found out my son is gay". " Tough break, the drinks are on the house" replies the bartender. 2 weeks later, same guy comes rushing into the bar and demands 3 shots of Jack quick. The bartender asks " what wrong this time buddy?". " I just found out my other son is gay!" says the guy. The bartenger says " Man thats rough. Here, keep the bottle and have as much as you what, its on the house". A couple more weeks go by and in comes the same guy screaming for some shots of Jack. The bartender looks at him and says " What the hell buddy, don't any of your kids like girls? The guy replies " Yeah, my daughter".

  15. #30
    Super Moderator gunny's Avatar
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    Default

    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students
    have turned in all their work and there is really nothing
    more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher
    decides to have an early
    dismissal.


    Teacher:
    "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly
    can leave early
    today."


    Little
    Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here.
    I'm smart and will answer the
    question."



    Teacher:
    "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years
    Ago'?"


    Before
    Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham
    Lincoln."


    Teacher:
    "That's right Susie, you can go
    home."


    Johnny is
    mad that Susie answered the question
    first.


    Teacher:
    "Who said 'I Have a
    Dream'?"


    Before
    Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther
    King."


    Teacher:
    "That's right Mary, you can
    go."


    Johnny is
    even madder than
    before.


    Teacher:
    "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
    you'?"


    Before
    Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F.
    Kennedy."


    Teacher:
    "That's right Nancy, you may also
    leave."


    Johnny is
    boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of
    the questions.


    When the
    teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches
    would keep their mouths
    shut!"


    The
    teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID
    THAT?"

    Johnny:
    "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO
    NOW?"
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